Oathtaking Saturday 27/8/05

Some pictures of our oathtaking at merdeka palace.
3/4 of the staff with our academic manager.












Ainil, Dr Sheikh Ghazali Abod (UNITAR COO), me(!), Dr Morni (company's Chairman), Juliana and Hasmah.

Hasmah, me, Tuan Hj (company's CEO), Juliana and Zaifa.

Juliana, me and Ainil.












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Honestly, i've never taken so many photos in my life. These are just the decent ones. -_-

8-o

6 subjects with 7 classes. my schedule is packed. packed tight. i do have room to breathe. but barely. i hope i don't jam my brain. have to switch it to different subjects in matters of minutes. guess by the end of the semester i'll be loco. hope i still look normal though. hehe...
sigh... am alone in the office. the others have either classes or are on leave to sit for their s.p.a. exam. good luck! hope you all fail!! haha! don't want to lose good colleagues bah....
ooo.... my checque is ready. so tomorrow, i'm a rich man!! woman!! HAHA!! wateverlah.

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our class has started!!!!!!!!! i so kelam kabut right now!!!! i'm not ready yet!!!! sigh..... the weeks flew so fast. i thought i have like another 2 or 3 weeks free. sigh.... and sigh again.... today is also our registration. it was so boring..... a lot of student registered lah, but somehow, still so boring........! had to finish my notes, but i don't think i can.... 1 textbook about 600 pages to compress. can or not? not.
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song of the day

deep in the hundred acre wood,

where christopher robin plays,

you'll find the enchanted neighbourhood,

of christopher's childhood days,

a donkey named eeyore is his friend,

and kanga and little roo,

there's rabbit and piglet and there's owl,

but most of all winnie the pooh,

he's winnie the pooh, winnie the pooh,

tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff,

winnie the pooh, oh winnie the pooh,

willy nilly silly ole bear! ^_^

lyrics from this site with the melody too! http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/pooh.htm

another song i like. it's really cute!!!! you guys should check it out!! ;D http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/coconut.htm

just a thought

how do you resist from giving in to your feelings, emotion? why is it so hard for us to do that. stop ourselves from feeling love, infatuation, liking even. the slightest emotion turns your whole day, your life, your very existence around. what seemed so simple and straight becomes twisted, full of junctions and curves in life. it becomes this complex maze that you can't get out of. it dictates you. it rules the way you live, the way you feel, the way you act, the way you breathe even. seeing that someone, hearing from that someone feels like trapped air rushing out of your body, carrying with it an emotion that just exhilarates you beyond words. and vice versa, not hearing or seeing would just drop a giant boulder on your shoulder. you bow your head the whole day, carrying this heavy and burdensome emotion. even your laugh sounds hollow. you try to be realistic but no matter how hard you try, it's there. you can't hide from it. you can't shut it, because it's IN you. denying it is like trying to stop breathing. denying it is hyprocritical. so what do you do? you try to act normal, disguising the burden you're dragging behind you. every night you lie down to sleep, the feeling slowly creeps up to you, but you ignore it. hard to do at first, but you drown it in fatigue, in other emotion like commitment to your family, to your work. YOU BE REALISTIC. YOU FACE THE FACTS. you. you just live.. when you read about it or hear about it, you feel jealous, you feel insecure, you feel worthless. but you live.. you know you're not worthless, you know you're confident, you know you're okay. but it's there, the feeling is still there. nagging you, haunting you. stalking you. it surfaces when you have a quiet moment, it creeps up when you're at the edge of consciousness. just when you thought you're okay, you're fine, you realise that you're not. IT IS STILL THERE. am i a coward to deny it? does it make me, make me arrogant denying it, hiding it. WHAT DOES it make me? am i too proud to admit it? you evaluate your feelings, you try to be fair, try to rationalise it. just when you thought you're at the end of the maze, just when you thought you could see the light at the end of the road, it gets dimmer, and dimmer and dimmer and you're left behind, with only a glimpse of that dim light. you know what's worst? being in the middle, just being there. why? you can't go back on your emotion and you have no idea what's stopping you from moving ahead with it.
rejection. is that what's blocking the way? how much would it hurt? how much damage would it cause? would you be able to act like you use to if it happened? it will never be the same. change. could it be change? what's so frightening about it? a small word with powerful effects.. humiliation? how would you act? how would you act..
what now?? :-/

hmm....

i don't really know what to write. can't remember what i did the last few days. i think i spent it compesating my loss of sleep. checked my bp recently. wo..... 150 over 100.... two days later, dropped to 130 over 90. sigh.... need to sleep more and eat less.
mar, i haven't got your letter bah... i'll check again later on. i got this nice jakarta key chain from my work mate in the form of a balinese bust. nice... so, so far i got one from paris, morocco, thailand and now, jakarta... anyone want to give me more? hah...
am enjoying ice cream right now. mm.... yummy.... and it's raining outside. looooove.... the rain ;). boo.. to those who don't like rain. }p
i need new songs for my pc, getting bored of the ones i have. bought myself a new blouse yesterday. i am now 45 ringgit poorer. and it's suppose to be the MEGA SALE. wateverlah..

hi...

lemme see, i've been 'gone' for about hm.. 5 days..
me daughter celebrated her birthday in school and was suppose to celebrate again that sunday, but as it was... shit happened.
anyway, the day before her bday, my mom and me prepared the party packs and ordered her bday cakes for her party. the morning after, we went to kfc and bought 2 barrels. after that we picked up her cake. really cute.. it had a tiger's face and the wordings were spelled with candies. yummy.... were suppose to send the stuff at 10 but ended up sending them at 11. hehe... when i picked her up that afternoon, she was smiling from ear to ear. she told me they sang the bday song for her, played with the party packs and ate the cake. she brought the tiger's face home and was eating it like a barbarian. sigh... kids... i guess that caused her to cough terribly that nite.
she got admitted to normah the next day, on thursday, and thus began my 'not so much of an adventure' adventure in the hospital. it was so B.L.O.O.D.Y. boring!!!!!!!!!! kinda surprised to hear that she was going to be admitted. it didn't seem that bad...the dr said her lungs were quite wet so, the first day, she was nebulized once an hour. 3 types of medicine were given, 5ml each, which was quite a lot for the little monster. she also had psyotheraphy once a day. i could see she appreciated the medicine and the gassing though she really put up a fight taking them, (the medicine). kids...i was so..tired. didn't get much sleep bcoz the nurses kept on going in once in two hours to check on her. i was miserable... she was miserable... (but at the same time still naughty. kept on bringing me to see baby. my colleague and her baby happened to be admitted also due to 'kekuningan' and we 'berjiran' also) she was breathing better by then and she wasn't coughing her lungs out anymore. still had the occasional vomitting but i thought she looked better. hoped she could go home the next day, but the dr said nonononono.. sigh... my daughter was saying 'mummy, i want to go home.....' poor tyke... anyway, we stayed another day, she continued her treatment and i watched tv programmes that i never watched before. mak alau!!!!!! boringnye!!!!!! dahlah sik da cartoons!! wateverlah!!!

hehe......

aloooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sik jadi cuti ari tok. i cuti tomorrow. my daughter's bday is tomorrow. i bought two cute cakes and some party packs for her to bring to school. then we'll celebrate again that nite. cheap ho when you the buy the party gifts individually and wrap it yourself. all and all only rm 100. wished my parents did that for me when i was small... don't YOUwish?
our technician just came, fixed our computer and he set my password to the dos thingy. muahahaha....... now my computer is safe from harm... our internet also o..k.. oh and they laughed at me (cis!) bcoz i complained to their faces they can easily access my computer without typing the password by just pressing escape. hai..... aok lah saya tok....
my colleagues going to kl tomoro.. so jeles... i wan to go oso... sob..sob... :( sigh....
did i mention it is so B.L.O.O.D.Y H.O.T in kuching? yeah, well, can't help it. i felt like i was drowning in my own sweat last nite... good grief...wateverlah...

monday...

had a so-so weekend. my kiddie was coughing her lungs out since thursday. brought her to the clinic on saturday and she had to be 'gassed'. got better then but she was coughing again by sunday. sigh.... read dan brown's da vincci code, ok lah.... jaq and jamie and my brother said the book was good so, i read it. wonder if it's true..i mean our beliefs are based on legends and tales. the possibility of the book being some kinda revelation that would definitely change our 3000 year old religion is there. what do you think? a matriach religion instead of a patriach one... power to the women!!!!!!! what a great adventure to go on the hunt.... wah... imagine. wish i could learn all those coding watever though.... the puppies are doing great.. hehe... everyone likum 'em...hmm....i'll be on leave from 9th to 12th. dunno wat to do then... hope jaq got me nice wedge from her trip. meanwhile, i oledi bought myself a simple one for work. my black heels was falling apart anyway. going to have my daughter's birthday next sunday. have to buy sweets and cakes for her to bring to school. wonder what sweets that doesn't rot their teeth... my mates and i are playing carrom right now. auww..... my finger.... am going to be alone on friday since the rest of them are going to kl and berholiday. sigh.... hope i won't see my own 'twin'... eee.... that da vinci code is good...i surfed the internet for the mentioned pictures, true bah..... mona lisa does look larger from the left side, the claw like fingers of mary in the painting in the cave, the last supper. but the disney movies were quite unbelievable though, but then, it may be true also lah.... i'm not really a religious person, so i guess that helped me to be open-minded about the whole affair. i discussed it with my religious mate and she seemed a bit offended by what i said. dropped the subject.... if i can get my hands on those manuscripts, wah, that'll be great.... wish i can go the luvre also and see those 2 pyramids.. can't wait for my car to be here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe..... what plate number should i get? the running number here is 6014 QAC. so if i can get 6669, wah..... great....i'll be the envy of whoever.... muahahahaha........oh by the way, happy kuching month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mok pegi damai sik kelak oh? hmm..... wateverlah!!!!!

ahoy there!!

ar..... good morning me mateys!!!! hehe... feeling very 'light' today. guess what, i again became the 'sspca' by again capturing another fat cute puppy. haha!! my grandma's house will once again be overflowing with puppy urine and puppy barks and puppy kisses!!!!! haha!! they were delighted to see the fat round puppy. i could see that they likum the puppyum. hehe... the cute little thingy really did make my day. i'm proud to say i did something good these past two days (i jarang bercharitable bah...) bcoz they say if no one takes the puppies, dbku will catch them and give them to jong crocodile farm as food for the ganas crocs. ee... jaik.. my colleagues who happen to be muslims were there with me. i can see they really wanted to hold the puppy, but they cannot of course, plus, they were very careful to avoid touching my hands or my handphone (i had to call my auntie so i brought it along lo..) ces... sungguh lah... what's the word liau... so the very the ces.. lah!! plus, our chairman is a real cracko alright. my mate asked me to call her handphone (they're in mato-daro, doing some kinda motivational talk which i was suppose to go with but can't on the account of my daughter. phew!) and so i did. he answered 'matu school, good morning bla bla....' i was quite confused so i hung up and called again. he did the same thing and again i hung up. at the end i called her by my handphone and again he answered. he said, 'matu school, bla bla... you want to speak to my wife? one moment please...' then i heard my mate laughing her ass off. ces!! no wonder we (the staff..) are crackos also. don't understand kah? call me lah! then i tell you.....

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just came back from lunch with jaq and nandy. kuching is so...bo...ring....... wish there's more shopping malls here. i don't mind the relaxed and laid back way of life but gosh... when you only got 7 small and always the same shopping centres around, what can you actually wash your eyes with.. sigh... plus nandy can't help but heap praises about jaq... yeah, jaq's a beauty alright and i'm glad she's this down to earth person. i love my best friends...hehe..*v~ got lots of schools to call for the next phase of our motivational talk. i hope i could go. i so........... jealous my mates have gone and here i am... never mind lah!! tomorrow still got!!!!! what i want to say just now oh? hmm... ooo... jaq's going to kl tonite and i oledi 'pesan' my wedge. hehe.. jaq, get me good one ah... so very hard to find good shoes or sandals in kuching. you have to spend a lot to get good ones. how i envy the shopping in kl...sigh....it is now a quarter to 2. did i mention it is so b.l.o.o.d.y. hot in kuching? like i said, feeeeel sweat coming out of your pores.......gosh, gross.....anyway..will be playing congkak after this. wa... it is so good during our semester holiday... so many games to play... hehe.... work with my uni lah you people... very very very very good one.... a cracko chairman, a leng leng ceo and sporting managers... thank you GOD for giving me this job. hehe...oh right!!! the down side of my company, they're going to install a remote desktop and a server that will be able to track of our internet movements. bencik nye............ watever....

YAY!!!!

i just booked my first car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a mocha silver myvi, S3ZH automatic. full accessories, with airbags, abs, spolier and such.... wah...... hehe..... now i have to budget properly. sigh.....oooo...... this morning i caught a cute puppy. me and my mates had to wait for about 45 minutes for the puppy to get out of his cubby hole. so cute.... we looked like bunch of hookers waiting for clients though.... hehe.... i gave it to my auntie and my cousin was so excited to see the cute fat round small puppy. hm..... sweet..... so excited to get my own car. eh, jamie, bila gik ko? hehe....^v^
like this lah..

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just got a phone call from mars. miss talking to her... miss her!!!!!!!!! mar PULAI!!!!!!!! sob..sob... she told me to write longer. how long can i write if i have nothing to write so long long about. sigh..... i'll try my best. it is now 5 mins after 3 here in kuching. i so bored..... dunno wat to do. i haven't called whoever i was suppose to call. ahya..... tomorrow la i call. so lazy right now. right, i am currently listening to switchfoot, what song i dunno. but cute cute song. my mates are gaming now, best ho? i'll be gaming also later on. hehe... kuching is roaster from hell right now. it so.. hot, the moment you finish your bath, you can feel the sweat coming out of your pores, mixing with the bath water. imagine.... it actually WANTED to rain yesterday, but i guess GOD enjoys HIS summer vacation in kuching so.. much that HE decided to extend HIS stay longer and we're 'summer vacationing' with HIM. send rain.... please....... rain rain please please come, you can stay for the whole month.... rain rain COME!!!!!!!!! *^* what to do when i get home ho? my life is so plain right now. though i enjoy the routine, i hate the monotonous times. sleep, wake up, send mang to school, go to work, go home, bathe, fight with mang (hehe..) then sleep. fresh! exciting... isn't it... aargh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to get myself something new. dunno wat but SOMETHING new.... someone new maybe....?? waddaya thinketh??watevereth?

WAA!!!!!!!!

we're having quality assessment today. THANK GOD i finished updating my files and lessons. sigh...... so the very the nervous.... i'm going to be interviewed later on. just hope i have everything that i need. and i don't screw up. breathe.......

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finish!!!!!!! phew..... before we went in, all of us felt like puking our guts out. my workmate said huge huge butterflies were already making their way out of his throat. poor guy.. when we reached the designated room, the auditor was still having tea with the board of directors and when she came in, she was very casual about the whole affair. even made a joke and two! good lah... at least she wasn't this huge tyrannical man-like lady. we also have wen to thank, he did all the talk......
am going to collect my new mykad later on. wonder how i look like? the last time i saw the picture, it was fine. but mykads can do negative wonders to your face. hope not.

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i got my kad (mykad).haha.... lame, i know. as i expected, my picture looks horrible!!!!!!!!! i look like i was boxed!!!!!! sigh.... can't it for once be OK??what is it with ic pictures? wateverLAH!!!!!!!

hm.... the beach....

one small happy family... top is lorraine, from the left is jaq, marina, my kid and me! wat a great day we had. it was the only time we all could be together. sweet.......

morning!! ayak.... tummy ache....

i couldn't sleep last nite, god knows why... it was so bloody hot, you could fry anything ON the road. at night. sigh.......... i've been feeling empty lately. it's like you have a hole in you that you want to fill, but, you're afraid to coz you know it'll be too heavy to carry around. want somebody but without the emotional baggage. watever LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wah........

so, this is how it feels like being it literate. Haha!!