Cloud 9..

25th May 2006

YAY!! finally on my way to pick up my baby from the airport! :D
i was so excited and happy i couldn't stop smiling the whole way.. and i finally got my kiss (altho a brief one). sigh..

we went for breakfast after that and i had to send him home for a while before going to damai lagoon. no one was home except his grandmother. i didn't really talk to her as i have hearing problems (haha!!) and i didn't really know how to converse with an elder. sorry baby...
but, she did reminded me of my late great grandma. i didn't really speak to her either, sigh...

after a moment, we were finally on our way to spend the rest of the one and a half day with each other.. ;)

it was such a reluctant feeling, checking out. i felt it was too brief of a time. we didn't really get the chance to do stuff together like walking at the beach, playing in the pool.. haih..

oh well..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

went for breakfast with baby and his family the next day. (NOT the whole family la..) it was an unplanned plan and was a BIG BIG SURPRISE for me. wa... didn't expect to meet his parents this soon.. hehe..

while i was in his house, i was so worried about what they would think of me.
my stomach was churning, (hard enough to turn milk into cheese in there) my smile was kind of frozen, i was racking my brain like an ass on fire for a topic to talk about, and i felt like hiding under something. what an experience... nebes interview kerja gik sik gitok.. hehe..

LUCKILY, i was comforted by the relaxness (??) and calmness of his parents which in turn calmed me a bit. i was able to put on my calm face and use my calm voice. hehe...
phew... thank you the stars above..

we went to green hill for breakfast where i couldn't really eat on the account of the churning stomach. baby finished my bowl of mee sapi along with his own.. men and their infinite stomach space. hehe...
it went well, no drinks spilt, bowls upturned, i managed to talk a bit (it was loud at the coffeeshop and his parents are soft spoken and i do have hearing difficulties and thus understanding what was being said)
but i felt i could have done better than that. i felt that i could have asked questions about their work, school and etc. haih... hope i didn't give a bad impression... sorry baby, am not a good converser...

that night, baby picked me up for a late night movie. 'termeet' with a few students, colleagues and such..but nothing biggy. we lepak until 5 am. then tiredness started to take over and we went home to rest. i slept for a while.. a while.. A WHILE. i was woken up by my mom and forced to go to the morning market to buy stuff. haih...

that afternoon, i brought my daughter for an outing with baby. i didn't know what to expect. again i was nervous and this time, i think i went pale for a while when his parents met my daughter. gosh!! i felt like my face suddenly grew thinner and again i WANTED TO HIDE UNDER SOMETHING!! again, will they accept my daughter? how would they react? what would they think of her/me? ayak..

i was pleasantly surprised to see them, hm.., uh..., ah.., very accepting(?) of my daughter. they were soooooooo nice!! and baby was sooooooo nice oso!! my daughter warmed up to him pretty fast. i was happy. am happy.

that afternoon went very very well. i know this sounds scary and dangerous, but, i really felt like i have a family with him. it just felt, right. the way he talked to my daughter, acted to her, treated her, it was, well let's just say it made me want to make this work.

too soon too much to feel??

YAY!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;) ;p ;

WHAT THE F**K!!

In one day time, my baby will be back home. YAY!! we'll be spending time at this resort that i got for a bloody cheap rate. hehe.. it pays to have working students..

BUT!! BUT!!

i only get to spend a short time with him becoz i'll be flying to kl after that. PHOOOOOEEEEEY!!

i was literally forced by darth mader to go. i tell i'm not going, still she force me to go, what the ****?!
it's like "i don't care. i gave life to you, thus, you are my slave. do as i tell you!"

F**KEROO!! i oso have plans for me and my doter. now, all in the drain.. megalomaniac.

hmph. need to work hard and save fast. i want to get out of that house ASAP. if money comes in a second, in A SECOND!!

so bad of me to feel and say this, but i can't help it. it sux to be 26 years old and still be treated like your 12. sigh.....

m going to be in a foul mood for the rest of the week, except for when my baby comes home of course.
a stream of sunshine among grey clouds..
mm... can't wait for that day to arrive..

Moolah and such..

who says money is not everything? it IS everything. it DOES make the bloody world go bloody round. sigh.. so sick and tired of being careful with spending. so tired of keeping track of what i spend. soooooo siiiiick.

but, that's life. can't escape it. can't erase it. BUT, can change it. only, the problem is, HOW..?

a. get extra job (wa.... 7 days a week working...)
b. get better job (wa... more responsibilities = longer hours = 7 days a week working...)
c. have own business (wa... longer hours and more effort = 7 days a week working...)

hm... it seems like everything points to work work work...

oh! how divine art thou born with silver and gold in thine mouth!!

Training Day

Yesh folks, i gave my first in house training of 15 minutes this morning. No, i didn' t feel nervous. Yes, i had a blast. It was a successful training. Thank GOD!! haha.. oh, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, BUT, as my colleagues said, TOO OFTEN, it gets boring. Now its like the faculties are competing to outshine, outwit and outdo each other. Which is such a bore.. Sigh.. next year have to think of something better than this year, better than the last faculty, if not, takut dipadah niru kelak.. sigh..

dah lah pengarah ngok! ngok nar.... pengarah ma... suppose to be assertive and active.. tok sik, sikit sikit nanyak, ee... dah la koordinator ngok juak, ee... sigh...

dunno what to write liao.. finished my FBA report. still have 4 more to do.. sigh... due 18th tho.. so... haya...

HAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funny events

there are some things that i'm suppose to write but i forgot about it. the last one happened last night.. hm.... my brain still asleep... o,o,o, after almost 3 weeks of skipping my walk, i started again this morning. am pretty slow now, but i'm sure i'll get my groove back. i aim to be at least quarter of my size by my birthday.. long way to go..... but, am currently enjoying the compliments that i get from my colleagues.. hehe... ;P

my financial status is virtually none currently. i can't believe my money disappears like waterfall.. sigh, so much for wanting to save up... but, i calculated my budget and i am confident that i will be able to save up and replace my savings by july. i hope. hm.. minus the spending urge i have right now.. janji i tahan not shopping then can la.... again, hm... am a girl. can stop myself or not? hehe... dilemma... so high maintenance one jadi pompuan... simple jaik, sik simple sik da duit... hehe...

oh well....

i have this new found experience now. well, actually it's a re-discovery of experience. neway..... i find it hard to maintain sometime, you have to constantly remind yourself why you do certain things, why it's important and the sweet result at the end of it. am feeling really, really, really lazy now, i just don't care... it's dangerous when you don't care anymore... i need something, a change of sort.. new challenge i guess. but logically, i don't have enough for a new challenge. i'm still drifting on the clouds, just lightly touching the ground.. sigh...

come on woman! what is wrong with you!! hut hut hut!!!

bleurgh.....

Memories

Memories are meant to be forever, but, at last, they do lapse. Thus i have taken the initiative to write down my memories of the past few weeks. I know, i have written a bit, but, it's not enough to remember the sweetest moment. Since my sweets too busy (ahem!), I, will write it down.

As a private entry. hehe....

I like..

this song. lagu lama la but i just heard it, so.. it's my united states of whatever wat.. ;P
baby, send me the video clip of the sox singing it please.. haha.... thank you i love you.

Itu Aku
Sheila On 7

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Final!!!!!!!

we're having our final now. i just can't wait for my work to be done and over with. i'm like sick and tired of it... uwek... hehe..

my mind is like on holiday mode already. i am lepaking with my doter, with my friends, with my sweetie, by myself... haih.. CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! HOLIDAY!!!! YAY!!! FASTER!!! :D

baby, i love you.